Preface: Read This First

One day, I decided to start a blog.

This actually wasn’t a spur-of-the-moment decision; I’ve been wrapped up in creative expression, in one form or another, nearly all my life. From the moment I became self-aware (and was capable of remembering things for more than five minutes at a stretch) I have wanted to express myself creatively, to give to others my thoughts, ideas, views and feelings.

I’ve tried out many vehicles of expression over the years; fiction writing, poetry, philosophical debate, role-playing games and even a short (and very ill-advised) attempt at songwriting. I am, at best, an indifferent writer; though I can dream up a story just fine, I cannot seem to hold things together long enough to finish. A common curse among writers, and one I must admit I have fallen prey to.

Even my attempts at debate and conversation to express my views fall short of the mark. Though people like and occasionally even praise what I have to say, I never seem to be able to complete the thought/idea to my satisfaction before others attempt to comment on it (or disagree with it). “But I’m not finished!” my mind would shout (yet again) as the conversation moved past my idea. In the attempt to listen and to talk, one or the other would inevitably get shortchanged.

So, this is my next attempt at communication. I feel this will be more successful because alone at my computer I am able to bring thoughts and ideas to their fullest fruition, without dissenting voices and ill-timed topic shifts. However, this is not a new phenomenon; a legion of self-righteous assholes in possession of their own keyboards and opinions have beaten me to the punch. I will try to stand out from the pack somehow. Time and Fate will decide if I succeed.

This is the framework under which all other posts will be made. I felt an explanation of my methods might prevent misunderstanding about what I’m trying to do and how I’m choosing to do it (if people pay attention, which if history is any judge they likely will not but the effort should at least be made).

Article 1: Use of Language

In my quest to express concepts and ideas, I will paint with the whole palette of English that I possess. If evocative or poetic language is called for, that’s what I will use. If a bit of blunt speech or a swear word or two gets the point across effectively, you’ll see them. I will not censor myself to make anyone feel better. This includes the use of “un-PC” phrases like racial and sexual slurs. Like them or not, such phrases spark interest, either positive or negative. Like the fashion model who shaved a Calvin Klein logo into her pubic hair (remember that ad? I sure as hell do) I will be getting your attention by whatever means necessary. And, I am being completely honest about that fact.

Article 2: Defense

These posts will be in the public domain, and every one of them will be available for comment. However, I will not be responding to comments unless the rebuttal actually manages to either get me to change my views or causes me to make another post. Other than that, I feel no need to defend myself. Put bluntly, if you don’t like what I have to say, I really don’t care.

Article 3: Attack

(This almost shouldn’t be necessary but considering my experience with online forums I’m putting it in anyway.)

These are my opinions; doubtless, some of you who read them will poke holes in my logic. I expect it. I am not particularly well-educated, and am not basing my writing on anything other than the knowledge I already possess and my personal observations/feelings. I’m not doing research for any of these entries that I wouldn’t already have done due to simple curiosity. When I choose to attack an idea, I will be as fair as possible, and include myself in the crosshairs of my verbal fire. If you want to take shots at me as well, feel free. But as far as I am concerned, the snarky cynic, the superficial sophist, and the oversensitive reactionary (three common varieties of Internet douchebag) can collectively take a flying fuck at a rolling doughnut. I’m not in this to debate. So, save yourself some trouble and don’t bother.

Article 4: Completeness

If you are going to read a post, read it in its entirety before passing judgment. Some posts will not make sense or give the reader the wrong idea if left half-finished; of course I can’t enforce this, it’s just a request but one I hope people will honor.

These posts are not supposed to be in any order, nor are they even really going to all agree with one another. Our beliefs don’t change, but how we choose to express them varies widely with time, experience and even inane things like hormone levels, intoxicants consumed and whether or not we ate breakfast that morning. This blog, in the words of Anton LaVey describing his own “Devil’s Notebook”, “…is like life; it is consistent in its inconsistency.”

I hope you enjoy it.